I needed to finally move on and get over things. I needed a final goodbye and a send-off that I could look back at and be solemnly proud of. This project was the conclusion to my grieving process. I needed the right music, the right space, the right people and the right time to finally create a piece of work that I could proudly associate with.
Some considered this impossible for various differing reasons; financially it was straining (currently $10,000 spent and counting), logistically it was infeasible (you want to create an EP with a roster of vocalists you’ve never met before?) and musically it was the most challenging thing I’d ever done.
I don’t hide from the reality of my situation, nor my past. Six years ago, I couldn’t read or write musical notation. Eight years ago, I was advised to discontinue pursuing music in high school because I wasn’t at the calibre of my peers. I had a lot to prove, but to no one more than myself.
I knew exactly what I was getting myself into when I embarked on this journey. Now, as formidable as the obstacles were, and as much as I had improved over the years and through University, I still had doubt built into me. No matter how proficient I became, insecurity in my own abilities were always at the fore, but I refused to let that dictate the outcome.
Bravely, we carried forward, disregarding the many stresses and strains, and finally arrived at something complete.
None of this would’ve been possible without my team. I think that speaks volumes to the power of people. Much like the process of grieving itself, people dig you out; people help you recover. Without my people, I wouldn’t have actualised any of this. Without the kindness, generosity, patience and skill of the people affiliated with this project, I would have achieved nothing. Thank you, Joe Kaptein, Loxmyn Mcdonald-Ness, Lepani Tuifagelele and many more.
Now, nearing the conclusion of this whirlwind, I’ll slow down and take time to address the many fleeting thoughts. I look forward to sharing this with all of you one day.